Hear me out on this one: God sounds like Waylon Jennings. I blame “The Dukes of Hazard” specifically for this. Allow me to explain.

My childhood could best be described as chaotic. My parents alternately loved and loathed each other. The rapper Eminem described their type of relationship best when he said, “Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano”. Passionate or dangerous…I’m not sure. I don’t remember a lot from the “before”. Follow that up with their horrific motorcycle accident when I was 7 that rendered my father severely brain damaged and I turned out a little sideways.

We didn’t attend church as a family when I was growing up. My mother felt that we children ought to choose our own religion or thoughts on God. I went with my best friend Mandy’s family every Sunday and Wednesday. This is how I built my personal belief system. I was saved under a large pine tree at the age of nine holding my best friend’s hand and praying. I have never looked back. Jesus has been my copilot ever since (I’m not trying to convert anyone or explain the Church’s failings). I have ended up with a devotion to Christ AND a belief in the power of nature. I truly believe that God (as I understand them) is in each and every thing. Every. Thing. When you grow up without someone telling you about religion, you end up with unconventional ideas. The God of my understanding has been incredibly good to me for my whole life. Every negative thing that has happened in my life has been balanced out by equally great things. I am lucky and blessed. No one can convince me otherwise. “But your mom didn’t like you”. That may be true, but she loved me in the ways she was able and she raised me to be STRONG. Stronger than I ever imagined. But that is a story for another day.

Now for the “Dukes of Hazard”…like most kids that grew up in the Eighties, my Friday nights were for the Dukes. I loved the hell out of that show. Really really loved it, obsessed is probably a better word. Waylon Jennings sings the theme song, and sometimes he narrated, right? We never got to see his face, only his hands on the guitar (there’s even a lyric about it in the full song)…I’ve never seen the face of God, have you? Not even in my true to life, overly vivid dreams have I ever seen God. Not God as a whole person anyway. Is God a person by definition? The standard definition, according to Google, is “a human being regarded as an individual”. Well, that to me, at least, is a pretty clear “No” for the Heavenly Father being a person. In the Christian Bible, 1 Timothy 6:16 reads: “Who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see”, in answer to who sees the face of God. The Torah says in Exodus 33:20 “You cannot see my face, for no one can see my face and live.” Sikhs believe that God is beyond form and color, but His presence is visible. I had no clue who the voice on my favorite show came from, just some random body picking a guitar. I was a small lost kid who was looking for some kind of something…a connection to the Universe, direction, love…something. We watched a lot of TV. Are you following so far?

Anyhow, Waylon Jennings. He has such an incredible and recognizable voice. Warm and comforting. Booming and authoritative. A baritone that echoes up from the bottom of a well. Most of all loving, funny, questioning, and so so so kind. I always hear a smile and whimsy when listening to his music. Can you imagine him laughing at your best joke? Like really, really laughing? It would be glorious! He seems like a reasonable straight shooting kind of guy, who takes each issue as it comes and renders divine wisdom accordingly. Also as a member of The Crickets, old Waylon understands being part of a three piece band, just like the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Okay, that may be a shade blasphemous and a little too far; I stand by it, though. He has a soft spot for weirdos and outlaws which sounds like my kind of omnipotent creature. The voice though. That Texas accent and depth is what the voice of the Great I Am sounds like to me. Plus, he opens the song “Luckenbach, Texas (Back to the Basics of Love)” with possibly the greatest phrase I’ve ever heard: “The only two things in life that make it worth living, is guitars that tune good, and firm feeling women”. Brilliant. Perfect. One more blasphemous thought while I’m at it: Does that make the other Highwaymen archangels?

Now I am a grown woman. A grandmother, a mother, a sister, a partner and so many other things. I still hear Waylon Jennings’s voice when I speak with God. I turn 49 in one month and God still sounds like a headless outlaw from a TV show. While I have stopped asking myself what is wrong with me, this is a kind of strange belief to still have, even for me. I mean, why would God have a Texas accent? What would make Him pick on the guitar? And why on Earth would He wear blue jeans and Western boots? Maybe its to make me comfortable? I have no idea.

I went to church this morning. The sermon was about how you can come from unfortunate circumstances and still belong in the Holy Kingdom. About how no matter the life you’ve lived, you can be and are a child of the loving God. That’s the good stuff right there. I’m not proselytizing or trying to convert you, I swear. I’m only speaking of my experience and my version of God. I do not believe that everyone has the same experiences or ideas about who or what the Father (or Mother, or how you like it) is.

This is my God. And he sounds JUST like Waylon Jennings.